I have written about my paternal side of the family in the past and the fact that they are distant due to my father and his lies.
For those who do not know, my father was having an affair from when I was a baby and continued for 15 years until my Mum filed for divorce. The man was a bully and outright shit! When Mum divorced him he told all his family not contact us and then told them that we had moved to another town and he had no idea where we all went. My Mum still lives in the same house and has done for close to 50 years. This was his way of abandoning his kids and becoming a father to her kids. That’s the long story short.
So, one of my cousins C contacted me and asked if we fancied meeting up, which I did, and we met up quite a few times with her sister and M too. I took them all out for lunch a few times too and we got to know each other all over again. However, September last year C and her husband were having a party as it was their 25th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, we were in Ireland visiting M’s parents and could not make it. I let her know, and she said it was a shame, and that was that. A few weeks after she sent me some photos of the party, which looked sombre, to be honest, and I replied with “looks like you had a great time” and other platitudes whilst she told me how great it was.
After not hearing from her I decided to message her to see how everyone was and was told: “K and I have taken retirement, nice to hear from you, take care.” Well, that was short and sweet. M and I took it that her reply was a polite way of saying “fuck off I’m not interested”. Her attitude surprised me as she was the one who contacted me and wanted a social life with us. However, I would guess that our absence from her party is the crucks of her problem and she decided to spit out her dummy/take her ball home as we say. I even asked my friend who I work for what she thought and she agreed that it was exactly that, and maybe because we were not fawning about her then she was not interested. Obviously, not having contact with me for close to 40 years she would not know that I do not and never have fawned over anyone. It is not my style and neither is it M’s. We are sociable, but not to the point of a lot of people who do not seem to be able to function without others being around them. I find that type of life stifling. When I was young I was a social butterfly, but being old now, I have settled down. Again, we enjoy the company of others, but do not feel the need to be in the company of others all the time. Maybe we are the odd couple, but I know lots of people who are like us, as some who do not socialise at all.
I wonder how many readers are social butterflies or like us, happy to socialise, but it is not the be-all and end-all.