Tag: visit

I have no time…

… for fools and idiots. This last week has proved that to me, and I really cannot bear that people can be so shitty. The point, in fact, M’s sister (two-faced bitch) decided to start talking after her husband berated her about it, but only because of this. She has talked to me, and I have been bloody-minded and made conversation with her, forcing her into speaking to me. However, whenever M speaks to her, her first reaction is to say “what?”. She is partially deaf so she says and cannot hear people, but has no problem in understanding her husband or father, so I call bull shit on that one. Her words to M have been very few, and only when their father has been in the room. God forbid he sees the read her, not that he does not know what she is like as he fell out with her for a long time, saying he never wanted her at his funeral, and that under no circumstance does any of the family let her attend it when he dies. Now it is like nothing happened and they are so friendly it sickens me as once she goes back to LA he will have no good words about her.

M’s brother (town idiot) who lives spitting distance (3 minutes walk) away from his dad’s house where we are staying has not been seen, and the usual text excuse how he is so busy and the kids are playing up and “you know how it is” bull shit arrived within a day of us arriving. This happens every time we are here and never changes. Not that I am interested in him or his wife, quite frankly, their presence in this world offends me to the core. Many years ago they visited us in England and stayed at our home, only to start fighting with each other, and resulting in my pinning him by his throat to the wall telling him I will kick seven shades of shite out of him if he does not calm down and shut up. He realised that I meant every word and they both ended up crying in fear that I was about to go nuclear on him. He visited with M’s dad in 2017 and being an alcoholic showed his true colours again and could not go an hour without booze, which annoyed me, then he knocked over his beer on my new carpet and I could not stop my anger at him, calling him what he is and when he said he would clean it up I told him that he needed to go to bed now and get out of my way. Needless to say, he followed instructions and we did not see him until the next morning, where at 10am he opened a beer to sort him out. All in all, no love will ever be lost there.

Now, M’s dad is getting to see M’s mum every day and I am driving him to the home each day, but they still will not let M in to see his dying mother. M begged his dad to speak to the home manager as he only saw his mum 13 months ago and wanted to be able to say goodbye to her, as fitting a person who is at the end of their life. The bitch who runs the home keeps saying no, even though they have a letter saying that from Monday gone 2 visitors can see dying relatives for 40 minutes each day. She said that the letter was wrong, even though it is written by her and signed by her. So far M’s dad has done nothing what so ever, and gave the excuse that he did not want to rock the boat! What the actual fuck! All the other kids have seen her, so why is it different now? He is a spineless bastard and again I have no respect for him in not sorting this out. M is in pieces, and his dad who pays for the home is doing nothing, and stated he did not want anyone to “cause trouble”. He also said that he would not want them to take it out on his mum. Again, what that fuck? So by demanding that the immediate family see a dying woman as per end of life guidelines and regulations is going to “rock the boat”, more like “I am getting to see her and thats all that matters to me”.

All M’s nieces, nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews live around the corner too and only P and one of his daughters has made an effort to see M. Now, someone new to my blog may think “why can’t M go and see them?”, so to clear that up M is disabled and struggles walking, and if he needs the loo, none of them apart from his dad have a downstairs bathroom.

One thing that is pissing me off is that we have spent just over £300 on food and things for his dad and the others here in the house have spent about £15 collectively, and have been looking out for themselves. Now, we cannot and would not expect his dad to get groceries in for us all to eat, but it would have been nice if the rest of the house bought goods rather than eating their way through whatever they can morning noon and night. We bought his dad a new kettle as the old one was just that, old, and needed to be binned, go knows if it was safe, and M’s sister when she saw it, questioned why. We bought cleaning stuff too as the house isn’t clean at all, and god forbid that his sister cleaned anything, so M and I have cleaned everything, including the dog. The rest of the house has sat on their arses and done nothing, apart from making a mess and use the washing machine a million times a day for their own clothes. It is exasperating, to say the least. This trip has cost us just under £1,000 and has not been at all beneficial in any way, however, if M got to say goodbye to his mum, then it would have been worth it, and more.

So, homeward bound we are on Friday, and I am looking forward to seeing the dogs. I have had Jack as a distraction, who is lying at my feet as I type, and has become quite a fixture at my side, and I will miss him, but as for the rest of it, I will file it in the waste bin in my head.

One thing I wanted to do whilst I was here was read, and that has not really happened apart from a few pages of James McBride’s “Deacon King Kong” which is a great book, and I insist that all of you read it. It is part of Oprah’s Book Club and is quite funny and odd all at the same time. The reason why I have found it hard to read whilst being here is that people here are very loud, and I mean fog horn loud. No one knows how to speak in a normal tone and volume, everything seems to be shouted. M is the only one from here that is quiet. I ended up sitting in the back yard reading this afternoon, well trying, only to hear his sister chat crap loudly about her life in LA and then bash about in the kitchen sink with a cup and of course, put the washer on a spin with towels so it bounced about for another 15 minutes, all in all spoiling the peace and quiet I so longed for. Even the TV when it is on is at ear-splitting levels.

Deacon King Kong, by James McBride

So, that is it so far, expensive, loud, annoying, and frustrating!

Trip To Ireland

The Ferry on the Mersey with Liverpool Anglican Cathedral in the background.

It’s fathers day, and we are aboard the good ship Mersey sailing to Ireland to see M’s parents. The dogs are with us and are in the onboard kennels. They are not too happy, to be honest, but it is better there than left in the car or left at the boarding kennels back home. I have had my breakfast finally along with a gallon of black coffee, so I am happy. M is in quite an excitable mood, but I think it is because he is going “home” and with that, it’s like watching a kid in a sweet/candy shop with everything for free.

We arrived at the port at 7:30am, and finally boarded at 9:30am. The ship is rolling from side to side so I guess we are off. We have a 4 birth cabin on the main deck which is good for M, no stairs to use, also the dog kennels are on this deck too, so we will be in and out for the next 8 hours checking up on them and walking them on the outer deck where they can go.

Unfortunately, Mazikeen seems to be suffering from disagreeing of one of the treats from last night, so I have had to clear up a few times after her on deck, but, it’s all part of having dogs.

I went a little mad and bought myself some new cologne in the duty-free shop. The lady there was spraying all kinds of fragrances for me to try, but most of them were too sweet smelling. I like dark and moody aromas to my aftershaves, finally, we found one called Spicebomb by Viktor & Rolf. It has notes of cinnamon which is a good start, £20 cheaper than in the shops, bargain.

We have about one and a half hours of sailing left until we dock and I think I have exceeded my calories for a week so far. Apart from a fried breakfast with toast, at lunch, I had fish and chips with mushy peas and tartar sauce and a pint of Pepsi, three black coffees between meals and one white tea after, and now I am sitting in our cabin with a large pot of Jelly Bean Factory beans. I have two bars of liquor chocolate, one Irish gin the other Irish coffee.

Needless to say, I am shattered and the humming of the ship is causing me to want to have another nap. Yes, another one. I had a power nap before and felt worse for it. I don’t know if it is the dryness of the air circulating the ship or I am coming down with a cold, but my throat feels raw, I hope it is the former or my friend Eileen has a lot to answer for LOL.

The Kennels and Excercise Area

I cannot complain about the journey. The restaurant food is all good, there is a bar if one wants alcohol, and a cafe for snacks and soft drinks is excellent. A little expensive though. But, we do have satellite internet, it is slow, almost like having dial-up again, but at least we have it. There is a free cinema too showing three different films. Also, we have our car with us, so that’s a bonus.

Family Visit – The Conclusion…

Last night at 7:30 pm we left M’s father and brother at the port for them sailing home. It was a great relief. My initial thoughts detailed in “Family Visit” were on target. Friday we collected them at the port and drove the hour back home. M’s brother could not wait to start, or should I say, carry on drinking, which he did as though his life depended on it, quite literally inhaling the beer. However, I looked past this as I knew it would be like this and carried on with the evening. Eventually, everyone went to bed just before midnight as it had been a long day for them.

Saturday came, and M’s dad was up and about clattering about the kitchen at 6 am, so being a good host I got up and made tea, chatted then made breakfast for everyone. We went to Liverpool as M’s dad wanted to see both of the cathedrals there, which I was happy to take them to. Talk of going for Lunch at the docks was made, and his brother, being a complete ass hole said he, M and his dad could go and have lunch and bring something to me when they had finished as I had the dogs with me. I thought you cheeky bastard, so I have to sit and be a taxi, so he can go and get more drink down his neck. Needless to say, M was not happy about this and told him that this was not going to happen. Eventually, I took us to a pub on the river, and as it was a nice sunny day I said we can sit outside and eat (as lots of other people were doing) and the dogs could sit in the sun rather than in the car. This was met with complete disdain and they decided they wanted to sit inside. I left all the windows and the sun roof open and went in reluctantly, after about 10 minutes, I went outside and checked on the dogs and gave them another drink and made sure they were okay. His brother was throwing the beer down his neck at a rate of knots by this time, and I knew this was his real reason for being there. I went back in ate some of my lunch and walk out after about 10 minutes as I was not going to leave the dogs any longer stuck in the back of a hot car and took them for a walk. About 20 minutes later they came out, M had a face of thunder as he was totally pissed off that they were not listening.

His brother decided that he needed to go to the docks and look round the shops there and get the kids presents (why I have no idea as they were only away for a few nights), and dropped in the conversation that he wanted to go and watch the match at one of the Irish pubs. I assured him that I was not going to sitting about until 6 pm waiting on him and he would have to get the train back. M’s dad did not seem to agree with my thinking, but I was not going to stand for it. I dropped him off close to the pub and took us all back home.

Just after 6 pm, M’s brother sent a text to say he was about to get the train and would see us all soon. But again, rather than doing that, he decided to go to the pub by the station and carry on drinking, this time vodka, and after about 40 minutes finally got on the train.

Close to 8 pm I made us all dinner, which was not really eaten by M’s brother with the excuse that the fish he had at lunch had filled him and his stomach was suffering because of it. I found this laughable as he had drunk that much beer and vodka that this was more likely the reason for him being full and ill.

As soon as I started cleaning up, M’s brother decided he had to go to the shops and get some more beer. Now the shop is 5 minutes walk, take that into account both ways and say 5 minutes in the shop he should have been gone for 15 minutes, however, that time was doubled and we think he had gone into the village bar and had a few more drinks on his way.

Again he was literally inhaling the beer when he got back, but rather than drink one, put the empty can in the bin and get another one, he decided to have two on the go at the same time, obviously wanting to keep both hands exercised. No one else was drinking, but that did not phase him at all. Then he kicked his “spare” beer across my new carpet. I only noticed as one of the dogs started lapping it all up. This really was the last straw for me, and I exploded. I have a very short temper and do not suffer fools or drunks. He told me he would clean it up, I laughed in his face, and pushed past him and cleaned it up properly, and spot shampooed the carpet. I could not hide my hate for this man and wanted to break his neck and kick him out. About 15 minutes later he decided to go to bed, but I think this was because he could see my anger.

Last time he was at our home, 13 years ago, he and his wife decided to start fighting, which I would not allow in my house, he thought he would try his luck with me, so I pinned him against the wall by his neck pulled back my fist and told him one more word and I would beat the living daylights out of him. He had disrespected us and our house, not just fighting, but dropping lit cigarettes as he was that drunk.

Sunday, their final day came, he finally got out of bed at 10 am and told M that he could not go to Liverpool today. M asked him what made him think we were going to ferry him there again, and that that was never going to happen again. I needed to go to the farm and get more milk, walk the dogs and go to the farmers’ supermarket for a few bits. They all came with me, but he decided that he needed to go shopping for things for the kids. M told him to go up the road and get what he needed there as we were not going to have a repeat of yesterday. As soon as we got back he decided that he needed a beer to “level him out”, it was just after 1 pm, and of course one is never enough for an alcoholic, and after 3 he ate a bit of his lunch and decided to go back to bed as he was tired.  When he eventually go up again, he went straight to the fridge and got more beer, and this went on until we left for the port.

I needed to go to the farm and get more milk, walk the dogs and go to the farmers’ supermarket for a few bits. They all came with me, but he decided that he needed to go shopping for things for the kids. M told him to go up the road and get what he needed there as we were not going to have a repeat of yesterday. As soon as we got back he decided that he needed a beer to “level him out”, it was just after 1 pm, and of course one is never enough for an alcoholic, and after 3 he ate a bit of his lunch and decided to go back to bed as he was tired, although I think he was in hiding.  When he eventually go up again, he went straight to the fridge and got more beer, and this went on until we left for the port.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like a beer now and again, but as I am out driving all the time I do not partake, and I have no problem with people having a drink, but obsessive boozing round the clock with no care about the people around them really annoys me.

I tried my hardest to keep my feelings to myself and my temper in check due to M’s dad being there, but it was showing, and I could not wait for them to go back to Ireland. I told M that his brother was no longer welcome in our home, and if he suggests coming to visit us again to pass the phone to me and I would inform him of my feelings and that he was not welcome, that this was my decision, and that if he has a problem then he needs to take it up with me and me alone.

The sad thing is that this weekend was supposed to be about M’s dad visiting us for the first time, but the brother made it about him and his alcoholism.

They say you cannot choose your family, but I for one will choose not to be in M’s brother’s company again.

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